The Eyes Have It is the title of my first novel, and yes it is still under review at the publishers (sigh…I suppose that is better than rejected). It is a play on the phrase “the ayes have it,” but it also is a reference to the idea that the eyes are the windows of the soul. Eye contact is one of the best ways to connect with someone and get a “read” on their state if mind. When someone is genuinely happy their smile goes beyond the upturned corners of their mouth and reaches right up to their eyes. Love, compassion, and concern are genuinely communicated through the eyes. Eye contact avoidance can also speak volumes, but I caution that sometimes someone avoids direct eye contact because they are shy or intimidated, not because they are avoiding or hiding.
It can be quite frightening to look in someone’s eyes and realize that despite the gorgeous blue color, it is an icy hard and closed soul looking back at you. A decade ago that was my clue that a love entanglement I was in was not the kind of loving, compassionate, faith based relationship I was seeking, and without that person making radical changes would never be. I was still heartbroken, but after time I realized it was not the loss of that person, it was that I had allowed myself to be swept off my feet and fell for some smooth lines instead of first looking for the more important indicators that would have told me about the character of the man. I am a bit embarrassed to admit I fell for some lines, but in my defense I was at a vulnerable place in life, I felt like I was trying to meet a timetable for life and had not yet come into the self-confidence, self-acceptance and self-assurance that comes from life experience and putting trust in the divine higher power that truly makes all things possible. If I had taken the time to really examine his eyes, I would have realized his soul was closed to the spiritual connection I craved. That connection I realized would be a requirement to build a true and meaningful life together. Lesson learned the hard way!
My heroine in The Eyes Have It, Lizzie, also has to learn this lesson the hard way, in this respect we are kindred spirits we also both love to cook and love the Lowcountry life in South Carolina but that is where the similarities end. Lizzie has come to a place where she does not trust her own gut, she is disconnected from her spirit and has to work at grounding herself again, reevaluate what is truly important in life and learn how to recognize a good man when he is looking right at her. I think I am much better at that, thanks to my experiences from a decade ago, so I can’t say I regret that chapter in my life completely, I learned an important lesson. I learned what is most important to look for in the eyes of others. Kindness, warmth and compassion that shines from the eyes are so much more important than smooth lines. I also learned God’s timeline is not necessarily the same as ours, but that is a whole other blog.
Love the man whose laughter and smiles connect from his mouth to his eyes. If you want to know how someone is feeling about you look into the windows to their soul, no matter what they say, the truth will be there. Yes, I learned all that from one bad relationship choice. I now make the conscious choice to look into the eyes of people I meet and the students I teach to show them compassion and kindness, and more importantly to the people who have come to be a piece of my heart, when they look into my eyes I want them to see the love I feel for them shining out from my soul to theirs. If you need to know the essence of someone, If you need to find out how they really feel, take a good look, into those, piercing blue, vibrant green, chocolate pools or kaleidoscope hazel windows. After all, the eyes have it.